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Hello, Me

Here is your official Car-O-Scope, the patented Car Talk assessment of the compatibility between you and your Ford Focus ZX3. As you well know, the degree of compatibility between you and your car is crucial to your happiness and well-being! Driving the right vehicle--i.e., having the correct "carma"--will give you an incredible lightness of being, a constant sensation of euphoria and, possibly, a Rocky Mountain high. On the other hand, the wrong "relationship" can be devastating: a continuous frown, a deep and inexplicable depression, a sense of foreboding. In short, a life of quiet desperation--not to mention an incredible headache, lower back pain and continuous hemorrhoidal flare-ups.

So, ready or not, here it is.

Comparing You to Other Ford Focus ZX3 Owners
Boy oh boy, Me, you picked a vehicle that just isn't quite right for you. You're compatible with your Ford Focus ZX3 only in terms of your tolerance for taking risks.

When compared to other people who drive a Ford Focus ZX3, you're a bit too old to be driving this vehicle, you're, well--to be generous--a bit too frugal, your educational level is a bit lower than that of other Ford Focus ZX3 owners, you're just not enough of a snob, you make way too much money to be driving a Ford Focus ZX3, you are much more objective and logical, and you just don't care as much about your car as other Ford Focus ZX3 owners

For your further edification, here's a little further elucidation on these personality characteristics.

OK, there's frugal--and then there's cheap. And you're cheap.

Your motto is probably something like, "Waste not, want not." Heck, if it was good enough for Benjamin Franklin, why not you?

Pay no attention to what others are saying behind your back. Who cares?

Gee, this is interesting. Car-O-Scope has determined that most other Ford Focus ZX3 owners are much more concerned with status than you are. What to do, what to do? Let's see, we can either find you another vehicle--or maybe we can get you enrolled in that crash course in snobbery.

Some of us have an overdeveloped left brain, and some have an overdeveloped right brain. And your strength is definitely on the left: logic and objectivity. This is not a bad thing. We do need rocket scientists. But it makes you somewhat incompatible with your Ford Focus ZX3. Other Ford Focus ZX3 owners are a bit more "touchy-feely" than you. But you are what you are, so take your pick: Change what you are or get a new car. (That rhymes, doesn't it? Oops, that's a right-brain thing. Sorry.)

Other Ford Focus ZX3 drivers care about their cars much more than you do. Now, don't get me wrong; this is not necessarily a bad thing. If you don't care enough, you don't care enough. Fine. FINE!

Car-O-Scope Makes Suggestions for More Compatible Vehicles
Have no fear, Car-O-Scope is here to save you from a life of misery, depression and hemorrhoidal flare-ups. Through a secret and proprietary process (patent pending) the official car-o-scope has determined that your psychographic and demographic profile is far more compatible with the following vehicles: some of these suggestions might surprise you. But try to keep an open mind. It's quite possible that the car-o-scope has discovered some hidden and/or repressed aspects of your personality.

1. Buick Roadmaster
2. Ford Club Wagon
3. Oldsmobile Cutlass
4. Ford EXP
5. Chevrolet Chevette

So, let's look at your compatibility profile vis-a-vis the Buick Roadmaster. If you dumped that Ford Focus ZX3 and got yourself a Buick Roadmaster, you'd be a lot happier.

For example, you'd be almost perfectly compatible in terms of your tolerance for taking risks and your age.

In addition, you'd have pretty good compatibility in terms of the extent to which you're a cheapskate, status consciousness, and your grasp of reality.

Here's a little info on these personality characteristics. Read 'em and weep.

Risk-taking: your tolerance for taking chances

Some people are complete wackos when it comes to taking risks. I have a friend (who shall remain nameless), and when Tony goes on vacation, he immediately starts looking for the bungee-jumping sites. A nut case of the first order.

On the other hand, some of us are complete wusses. (Is this how you spell woosses? I'm not sure, but I'm afraid to look it up. Oh, my God, I might be wrong. Oh, my God!) You're compatible on this score.

Here's a more detailed look at your compatibility scores for the other vehicles on the list.

But don't delay! Your health, happiness and general well being are at stake here. Don't drive that Ford Focus ZX3 for another day.

It has been an honor and a privilege for Car-O-Scope to serve you in this very important decision.

And, don't drive like my brother.

[ Car-O-Scopes Home ]

[ 05-21-2003, 04:31 AM: Message edited by: TheReaper ]

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